3 things

1. Discovered this Alan Watts Being in the Way podcast. While listening I picked up on the saying      Ji-Ji-Mu-Ge. What it means I can't actually articulate quite yet, still learning that. But I do like saying it

2. The Japanese art movement Gutai begun by artist Jiro Yoshihara. It means concrete or embodiment and was focused on breaking boundaries, experimenting with materials, and doing what no one has done before.  Below is an image of Jiro Yoshihara's Please Draw Freely piece from 1956 which this month was recreated at the Tate.

3. After reading this article I decided to try it myself, read one poem every day for a month. I chose this Emily Dickinson poem kind of randomly. Took book off shelf and flipped to any page. Next time I may take some more time to consciously choose. But for now, I read this when I wake up.

Its a continual forgetting and remembering

 Going through some images on my computer and found this ink drawing from a bit ago.

It reminds me that I will forget, this way of being, this creative place. And also I will remember. For me this is a constant pattern. Some days months hours are more consistent and fruitful and feel I am living and being in the creative space I love to be. But then others well, it seems it is gone or vanished and I am floating in  this space between where I am and where I prefer to be. Where I prefer to be is in this elusive here- fully present, engaged, heart committed, connected to some energy and way that knows more then me and yet includes me in the process. This creative process where I am always learning.

"When I forgot: this time could have been days even weeks ago. All I can see has shifted to include more luminous delight more space with feeling without need to change, check, complete, grasp, gasp i can breath what i don't know again, there is a patient self on inside between within and she connects mountains with breeze and i thank her for showing up here on after many rain bare clinging hours. I wish I knew exactly  how she, i , we arrived. Could be lucky apron, soup, yoga from yesterday, new paint, walk,..something returned me to this trust open free. Maybe it was the music. But now i remember."

3 things- which all happen to be videos

  

1.Remy Charlip  this whole video  and when he says,  "sometimes I would only dance in my head...."

2. Laurie Anderson advice: "Whatever makes you feel free, that's what to do. It's really simple."

from this video. Love her!

https://channel.louisiana.dk/video/laurie-anderson-advice-young

 3. Ashley Brown, this video, 

and this one 

 

Notes from Being in the Making

 I have a few boxes of notes that i jot scribble mark down while I'm making something else. Over the years these notes have developed some patterns, repeats, themes. One of them is this, that my process knows more then I do. It has a way and it also has needs. Some days it needs more room and time to let loose and go without ANY idea or constraint as to WHAT it is creating. This is full out play mode which can get messy and wild. And then some days the process wants a smaller path, wants to have an aim wants some limits and guidelines with it's direction. Both of these approaches to sitting down and creating are necessary atleast for me. And I'm learning to experience them both which is always a practice.

3 things

 3 things- a practice in taking notice and time to share any three things that inspired me recently

1. This Book by M.C. Richards. To learn a bit more about her start here.

“The creative spirit creates with whatever materials are present, with an umbrella, or a wineglass, or a torch. We are not craftsmen only during studio hours. Any more than a man is wise only in his library. Or devout only in church. The material is not the sign of the creative feeling for life: of the warmth and sympathy and reverence which foster being; techniques are not the sign; “art” is not the sign. The sign is the light that dwells within the act, whatever its nature or its medium.” - M. C. Richards

There is so much within these pages to underline. It's about more then pottery and poetry for sure.  For anyone living and wanting to live more from and into their creative life.

 

2. This Documentary- A Life on our Planet

Favorite quote from the film "We must re-wild the world."- David Attenborough

3. Always something from On Being Podcast- this episode, Violinist Gaelynn Lea

 

Begin

 And so we go into a new year!

Connect with your joy, what makes time open up and feel infinite. Go there. Go there more. That is a healing place. A place to renew, nourish, discover, and create.

a whole year and only one post and NOW a new year to awaken a new WOW.

 

 

 This past year I have neglected or let this blog practice slide off. And what a year to do so. Wasn't that I didn't have time, yet all the time felt occupied by either things that needed to be done or concern for family, friends, the world. Also filled way too many hours watching netflix or news or scrolling aimlessly.  I missed those in between moments, like walking to and from places where my mind could daydream a bit more. Allowing my pencil to wander and discover. Even my so called creative time was very tightly held within things that needed to be done for projects for others, more specifically paid illustration work. And some of it was amazing but I do feel a bit burned out in terms of needing to replenish my own well of creative being. Even this sitting here to write and ponder feels a bit rusty. But I am here and today I am giving myself this time to sit and write and stare out these tall windows facing a mountain.

Time to move through the day with more openness to allow the air around me and within to expand and breathe and go as it goes. Less directing the direction and more discovering the direction from the inside out. 

My usual inclination is dive in without much plan or thought just go. And usually that has worked for me in terms of creative process. But today as the new year approaches I am wondering what if I choose a different route. One with similar trust and gust and delight but one also embedded with a clearer intention. I want to go deep into the creative process of making something, for that is where I love to be and thrive. Yet the question now is WHAT do I want that thing to be, WHAT do i want to be in the making of? 

Time and focus twirled into experience can take the form and shape of endless possibilities. And oh how I love so many of them. Drawing, collage, poems, prints, picture books are some. To choose only one....I don't know if I can do that. So it is more WHAT wants to be expressed. And that is a feeling. One I have circled the perimeter to for years. Sometimes have brushed shoulders with or even an afternoon but never fully voiced. I want to tap fully into that this here feeling.The one that knows much more then I do. The one that is a bit raw at times yet shakes and makes me go aaaaaaah thank you.

This year may my actions, Know the WHY, Guide the HOW. Awaken the WOW. Grow the WHAT!

 And when I forget or get distracted or go off on some tangent which will most likely occur often, may I have the strength to realign and choose the actions which nourish me fully. So I can create, discover, receive the work that are the gift(s) I love to give.

 

How

                        This morning I return to a few morning practices that some how over the past few months got neglected. One of them is morning pages.  I sit down to write. Just get my hand writing and moving across the page. and through this process allow the morning to evolve into what it wants. This is what I tell myself. Dust off. It's movement really, all in different forms. I write for 3 pages, it feels good, an old friend. I don't clean my desk, there are markers and pens and remnants of collage pieces. I pick up this little circle of a rower with a pink head.  I want to use it. To place it somewhere, to glue it down. So I open to any page and glue it in the center. There is a yellow oil pastel also on my desk. Spiral. My hand wants to spiral out, So I spiral out from rower with yellow oil pastel. I want to write something, there is a message from me to me,  I think what is it, keep going, Instead ...I write keep growing, for the process knows more then me. And then i see . looky here, row is in grow,,,, its all connected. And if I had stopped to think this morning, do I feel like sitting down to practice or not, then I wouldn't have had that little moment of discovering delight. So Keep going towards GROWing sometimes without KNOWing what it is you are going towards. Move to be moved!

what are you after?

When I was in art school many years ago, a painter professor came into my studio, looked at my pile of drawings and asked, "What are you after?"
Quickly I said "I'm after not being after." He thought that was a good response and told me to write it down. I noted it in my brain. I've thought about that conversation often and over the years it has  found its way into bits of writings or scribblings or notes to self like this one I found today.
I suppose that the initial response "I'm after not being after." is partially true sometimes.  But there is more I surely seek through continuing the art practice. Much more. And sometimes I know what that is and sometimes mostly I am bouncin' swirlin' not quite driftin' in the wind working to clarify, discover, forget, then remember and forget again what it is I AM indeed after. The most common element I seek through the creative process is the barely one second surprise when I feel something else has joined the reins to the making and I'm connected to an energy that knows more then me. It is a dance. Truly. And that moment when I feel it is enough to say yes thank you, and yet it fuels me to want more. That more changes each day and sometimes is clear strong and guiding and sometimes is murky with thought confusion or doubt.  Still I continue with whatever my hands are into at the moment. You can't discover much by thought alone, the making, the full on here I am lets get messy is where the magic happens.

Dive into whatever it is you are playing with today. And be open to SURPRISE!

Do-able End Points

 

I give myself Do-ables when I feel like I am spinning empty wheels not really gaining any momentum on any project. A Do-able is something I CAN complete and DO. It's not running the whole marathon, writing a whole book, cleaning out the whole house, it is writing for 10 minutes, maybe even 5, maybe even just opening up a notebook. It is taking a 10 minute walk, it is organizing one drawer. It is a tiny step or goal. Even though I love being in the process, sometimes to counterbalance that I feel the need to place an end point within reach to feel a sense of completion.
Giving myself a Do-able recharges my buttons and creative batteries, it juices the whole system to get moving again and experience a moment of DID IT even if it is not perfect or that great... it is done.
This feeling helps to channel my energy and create focus so I can continue.


One Do-able today was to get on this slightly neglected blog and write something. Anything.
And it had to be done within 10 minutes.
So I think I've done it
folks. Or Folk.
with a minute or two to STARE .......

3 things

There is so much that inspires and nourishes me. Picking 3 recent things from time to time helps to notice them and give some of them a place to be shared.

1. this Ted talk. I just listened to it this morning and I think perhaps it inspired me to sit down and write this little post. It's about the practice, all our practices, "What you practice GROWS!" love that and so true regardless of what it is. Listening to this tuned me in and gave me some space to wonder what am I practicing? and what do I want to grow?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AkXA8rgqiss

2. I keep a list on my phone of things I over hear, fragments and bits of conversation.
This is one:

3. This beautiful picture book and I mean gorgeous color and paper and cut outs and yum.
The Forest  Written by Riccardo Bozzi Illustrated by Violeta Lopiz and Valerio Vidali.

 

amything goes sketchbook

When I spend time in one of my anything goes messy sketchbooks my day always feels better. This is not a sketchbook to sketch out specific ideas for specific projects, I have ones for that. This one is to make marks, scribble, paint, collage, write, move my hands freely, discover something. It really does feel like breathing, its necessary. I hope you give yourself some time today and every day to let yourself play with materials you have by your side.

Thanks to Carla and Steve Sonheim I have this video flip through of one of my messy anything goes sketchbooks from 2018. It has music too. Enjoy!

3 things

There is so much inspiration every where. In books, movies, overheard conversations.
Here are 3 things that I've enjoyed this month.

1. On Being Podcast, - Mary Oliver
2. Movie- Mustang
3. Book- Velocity of Being

Stepping into 2019

 

Stepping into this new year, I'm thinking about trusting what I like- MORE.

 Yeah I know that whole trust thing is over used. And what does it really mean? To trust our selves. 

 Trust our ability to say YES to what FEELs aligned with the vibe we are working to tune and create in our life constantly even if it doesn't make sense or seem practical.

I made this collage in my morning sketchbook the other day. Something about the suggestion of meaning and subtle absurdity I really like. The combination of drawing and words and imagery and color is saying YES to me. Ahead. A head. It doesn't have to make sense.

Oh and I love arrows. Going to draw more arrows. I even like the sound the word arrow makes when I say it over and over. Arrow Arrow, air row, hair grow.

Today I am noticing what I like. Acknowledging it. Giving it a tiny nod. 

It's more then saying YES to that which brings me joy, it's naming it and sharing it along the way.

And that like everything else is a practice.

Thank you

I have this tiny plastic bucket on my desk. Sometimes I pick it up and play with it. I like it's size and specificity, the little blue handle, the ridges around. It's like a thimble for imaginary waters.  I pretend filling it up and spilling it out. Why? I don't know. But I like this bucket.

Doing it All

I realized that I haven't posted here since the beginning of the Fall. Dang..it's really hard to do it all.
Here is a spread from my anything goes morning sketchbook. I suppose I have been spending more time feeding those pages then this blog. It's ok. This is what I tell myself. It's all ok. We do what we can do and that is enough.

the practice

   

                        (this is what i tell myself when i have trouble starting- writing that is)


This week I returned to a practice I've had but then often abandon. Not sure if abandon is the correct word more like get lazy and just don't do it. The practice I'm talking about is morning pages, from the Artist's Way book. 3 pages every morning write. Not every morning produces magical writing that I want to share or ever read again. 99% of it is random word associations, filling up lines with inky scribble script, watching the pen move just to move, but then sometimes like this morning the writing surprises me. It brings me to a place I didn't know I could go. It makes me feel. Yes Feel. When I was in graduate school for art, a professor who was a painter asked me, "What are you after?" My response then was, "I'm after not being after." Clever for the zen buddha in me but not completely accurate. Perhaps I did think that then. Yet now if i were to be asked that same question, it would be different. Actually I'm after something. And it's huge but tiny and invisible and lifts me by the armpits dangling feathers on my cheek. It's a fragment between seconds that almost slips by unnoticed.  It speaks a star spun language and gallops garden air on my tongue. It wants me to sit here and I want to sit with it wanting me to sit here.  Damn it...I am after something. It is real because I feel it. I feel it telling me in it's own feeling way, this is why I am here. I am after more then I can say I am after for I'm afraid it will sound too bold or kind of insane.  I am after the grace of one line, one mark, one image, one tiny action step leading to the next without my knowing what it is before I reach it. I am after the body that bows with thank you, this this this. I am after having what I am after every day to know, grow, and share. I am after filling what I am after into books and art and whatever shape makes me more awake to who I am and what I continue to be after.

Collage

Chomp Chomp. Sometimes I got nothing to say but I want to be saying something. This is like that. It's me making weird noises for the sake of making weird noises. Chomp Chomp.

(Random collage ink pic found on my phone.)

these 3 inspired me

 1. Watched this Nanette https://www.netflix.com/title/80233611 last night and was deeply moved. It is a stand up comedy hour but it really becomes something else, it felt necessary for her, like air, she needed to say what she said and she managed to do it in such a way that to me it seemed to create a new art form, one that merges as well as dissects, comedy, storytelling, philosphy, culture, art history, and deep deep awareness energy and TRUTH.
Hannah Gadsby says, “I don’t want to unite you with laughter or anger,” she says. “I just need my story heard.”

2. I have been a long time fan of the picture book maker Anne Herbauts. Last week I picked this one off my shelf and found myself pausing to touch all the beautiful textured pages. Love it!

 

 Yum!!!

3. In and of Itself: Saw this illusion show that plays with identity last weekend with my husband. Before you walk in there is a wall with hundreds of cards that all say I AM... You pick one.

move it move it move it

yeah this morning as I was heading home from my morning walk with my dog Rufus, I put music on my headphones and noticed how my body turned on instantly----to move---in a different way. It  became lit from within to move it groove it mooooove it. A little sway at first and then shoulders rolling hips too. And a bit later at home when I began to draw in my journal I was reminded that movement is necessary it is an expression it is creation. Mark making has an energy it's own. Like the body listening to music it wants to do it's own thing...so once again learning and giving space for that to happen.

Take a moment today, put on music, and let your body do what it wants with crayon marker paint in hand or just a wave to the paper may be enough to reignite that creative swirl inside you.