This past year I have neglected or let this blog practice slide off. And what a year to do so. Wasn't that I didn't have time, yet all the time felt occupied by either things that needed to be done or concern for family, friends, the world. Also filled way too many hours watching netflix or news or scrolling aimlessly. I missed those in between moments, like walking to and from places where my mind could daydream a bit more. Allowing my pencil to wander and discover. Even my so called creative time was very tightly held within things that needed to be done for projects for others, more specifically paid illustration work. And some of it was amazing but I do feel a bit burned out in terms of needing to replenish my own well of creative being. Even this sitting here to write and ponder feels a bit rusty. But I am here and today I am giving myself this time to sit and write and stare out these tall windows facing a mountain.
Time to move through the day with more openness to allow the air around me and within to expand and breathe and go as it goes. Less directing the direction and more discovering the direction from the inside out.
My usual inclination is dive in without much plan or thought just go. And usually that has worked for me in terms of creative process. But today as the new year approaches I am wondering what if I choose a different route. One with similar trust and gust and delight but one also embedded with a clearer intention. I want to go deep into the creative process of making something, for that is where I love to be and thrive. Yet the question now is WHAT do I want that thing to be, WHAT do i want to be in the making of?
Time and focus twirled into experience can take the form and shape of endless possibilities. And oh how I love so many of them. Drawing, collage, poems, prints, picture books are some. To choose only one....I don't know if I can do that. So it is more WHAT wants to be expressed. And that is a feeling. One I have circled the perimeter to for years. Sometimes have brushed shoulders with or even an afternoon but never fully voiced. I want to tap fully into that this here feeling.The one that knows much more then I do. The one that is a bit raw at times yet shakes and makes me go aaaaaaah thank you.
This year may my actions, Know the WHY, Guide the HOW. Awaken the WOW. Grow the WHAT!
And when I forget or get distracted or go off on some tangent which will most likely occur often, may I have the strength to realign and choose the actions which nourish me fully. So I can create, discover, receive the work that are the gift(s) I love to give.
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