Tuesday, August 20, 2019

what are you after?



When I was in art school many years ago, a painter professor came into my studio, looked at my pile of drawings and asked, "What are you after?"
Quickly I said "I'm after not being after." He thought that was a good response and told me to write it down. I noted it in my brain. I've thought about that conversation often and over the years it has  found its way into bits of writings or scribblings or notes to self like this one I found today.
I suppose that the initial response "I'm after not being after." is partially true sometimes.  But there is more I surely seek through continuing the art practice. Much more. And sometimes I know what that is and sometimes mostly I am bouncin' swirlin' not quite driftin' in the wind working to clarify, discover, forget, then remember and forget again what it is I AM indeed after. The most common element I seek through the creative process is the barely one second surprise when I feel something else has joined the reins to the making and I'm connected to an energy that knows more then me. It is a dance. Truly. And that moment when I feel it is enough to say yes thank you, and yet it fuels me to want more. That more changes each day and sometimes is clear strong and guiding and sometimes is murky with thought confusion or doubt.  Still I continue with whatever my hands are into at the moment. You can't discover much by thought alone, the making, the full on here I am lets get messy is where the magic happens.

Dive into whatever it is you are playing with today. And be open to SURPRISE!

Friday, June 28, 2019

Do-able End Points



I give myself Do-ables when I feel like I am spinning empty wheels not really gaining any momentum on any project. A Do-able is something I CAN complete and DO. It's not running the whole marathon, writing a whole book, cleaning out the whole house, it is writing for 10 minutes, maybe even 5, maybe even just opening up a notebook. It is taking a 10 minute walk, it is organizing one drawer. It is a tiny step or goal. Even though I love being in the process, sometimes to counterbalance that I feel the need to place an end point within reach to feel a sense of completion.
Giving myself a Do-able recharges my buttons and creative batteries, it juices the whole system to get moving again and experience a moment of DID IT even if it is not perfect or that great... it is done.
This feeling helps to channel my energy and create focus so I can continue.


One Do-able today was to get on this slightly neglected blog and write something. Anything.
And it had to be done within 10 minutes.
So I think I've done it
folks. Or Folk.
with a minute or two to STARE .......



Friday, February 22, 2019

3 things

There is so much that inspires and nourishes me. Picking 3 recent things from time to time helps to notice them and give some of them a place to be shared.

1. this Ted talk. I just listened to it this morning and I think perhaps it inspired me to sit down and write this little post. It's about the practice, all our practices, "What you practice GROWS!" love that and so true regardless of what it is. Listening to this tuned me in and gave me some space to wonder what am I practicing? and what do I want to grow?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AkXA8rgqiss


2. I keep a list on my phone of things I over hear, fragments and bits of conversation.
This is one:


3. This beautiful picture book and I mean gorgeous color and paper and cut outs and yum.
The Forest  Written by Riccardo Bozzi Illustrated by Violeta Lopiz and Valerio Vidali.


Thursday, January 24, 2019

amything goes sketchbook

https://vimeo.com/306614231/e18b275fe0?mc_cid=d676e553b7&mc_eid=867daa9cfb

https://vimeo.com/306614231/e18b275fe0?mc_cid=d676e553b7&mc_eid=867daa9cfb

https://vimeo.com/306614231/e18b275fe0?mc_cid=d676e553b7&mc_eid=867daa9cfb

https://vimeo.com/306614231/e18b275fe0?mc_cid=d676e553b7&mc_eid=867daa9cfb


When I spend time in one of my anything goes messy sketchbooks my day always feels better. This is not a sketchbook to sketch out specific ideas for specific projects, I have ones for that. This one is to make marks, scribble, paint, collage, write, move my hands freely, discover something. It really does feel like breathing, its necessary. I hope you give yourself some time today and every day to let yourself play with materials you have by your side.

Thanks to Carla and Steve Sonheim I have this video flip through of one of my messy anything goes sketchbooks from 2018. It has music too. Enjoy!


Monday, January 21, 2019

3 things

There is so much inspiration every where. In books, movies, overheard conversations.
Here are 3 things that I've enjoyed this month.

1. On Being Podcast, - Mary Oliver
2. Movie- Mustang
3. Book- Velocity of Being

Wednesday, January 9, 2019

Stepping into 2019


Stepping into this new year, I'm thinking about trusting what I like- MORE.
 Yeah I know that whole trust thing is over used. And what does it really mean? To trust our selves. 
 Trust our ability to say YES to what FEELs aligned with the vibe we are working to tune and create in our life constantly even if it doesn't make sense or seem practical.
I made this collage in my morning sketchbook the other day. Something about the suggestion of meaning and subtle absurdity I really like. The combination of drawing and words and imagery and color is saying YES to me. Ahead. A head. It doesn't have to make sense.
Oh and I love arrows. Going to draw more arrows. I even like the sound the word arrow makes when I say it over and over. Arrow Arrow, air row, hair grow.
Today I am noticing what I like. Acknowledging it. Giving it a tiny nod. 
It's more then saying YES to that which brings me joy, it's naming it and sharing it along the way.
And that like everything else is a practice.





Friday, December 21, 2018

Thank you

I have this tiny plastic bucket on my desk. Sometimes I pick it up and play with it. I like it's size and specificity, the little blue handle, the ridges around. It's like a thimble for imaginary waters.  I pretend filling it up and spilling it out. Why? I don't know. But I like this bucket.

Thursday, December 20, 2018

Doing it All

I realized that I haven't posted here since the beginning of the Fall. Dang..it's really hard to do it all.
Here is a spread from my anything goes morning sketchbook. I suppose I have been spending more time feeding those pages then this blog. It's ok. This is what I tell myself. It's all ok. We do what we can do and that is enough.



Thursday, September 13, 2018

the practice


   

                        (this is what i tell myself when i have trouble starting- writing that is)


This week I returned to a practice I've had but then often abandon. Not sure if abandon is the correct word more like get lazy and just don't do it. The practice I'm talking about is morning pages, from the Artist's Way book. 3 pages every morning write. Not every morning produces magical writing that I want to share or ever read again. 99% of it is random word associations, filling up lines with inky scribble script, watching the pen move just to move, but then sometimes like this morning the writing surprises me. It brings me to a place I didn't know I could go. It makes me feel. Yes Feel. When I was in graduate school for art, a professor who was a painter asked me, "What are you after?" My response then was, "I'm after not being after." Clever for the zen buddha in me but not completely accurate. Perhaps I did think that then. Yet now if i were to be asked that same question, it would be different. Actually I'm after something. And it's huge but tiny and invisible and lifts me by the armpits dangling feathers on my cheek. It's a fragment between seconds that almost slips by unnoticed.  It speaks a star spun language and gallops garden air on my tongue. It wants me to sit here and I want to sit with it wanting me to sit here.  Damn it...I am after something. It is real because I feel it. I feel it telling me in it's own feeling way, this is why I am here. I am after more then I can say I am after for I'm afraid it will sound too bold or kind of insane.  I am after the grace of one line, one mark, one image, one tiny action step leading to the next without my knowing what it is before I reach it. I am after the body that bows with thank you, this this this. I am after having what I am after every day to know, grow, and share. I am after filling what I am after into books and art and whatever shape makes me more awake to who I am and what I continue to be after.

Tuesday, August 7, 2018

Collage


Chomp Chomp. Sometimes I got nothing to say but I want to be saying something. This is like that. It's me making weird noises for the sake of making weird noises. Chomp Chomp.
(Random collage ink pic found on my phone.)